Frequently asked questions.

How do you work?

In our time together there are three equally important elements
that are key in helping you reach your goals.

The three elements are ....

INSIGHT learning what you do, and why you do it.
PROCESS accepting and working through emotions.
PRACTICE putting new behaviors into action.

Who do you work with?

Individuals When you come to see me, it isn't just you that I work with - even if it’s only you in my office - it is the sets of relationships from which you live. The context from which you come, your current relationships, your family of origin and all of the patterns that were created long ago. Even if it is just the two of us working one on one, your family of origin is an important aspect of the therapy process.

Couples When I work with couples, we consider a number of things. We consider the two of you as people, two separate individuals who bring your own temperaments, strengths, and growth areas. We also sift through the context of each of your families of origin, which has helped shape who each of you are today. And finally, we look into the relational issues between you as a couple. These issues exist in the patterns of communication and behavior you have both have created together. In a marriage or partnership, though both partners benefit from personal change, couple well-being is best served when the problematic patterns of relating between the couple are interrupted and transformed.

Families When working with families, it is important to view change in terms of the interaction between family members. Regardless of the origin of the problem, and regardless of whether the problem is  considered to be an "individual" or "family" issue, there is no one person responsible. It is only when you, as a family, work together and explore the patterns that have been created as a collective unit, that things can begin to shift and unhelpful patterns change.

What else do you offer?

Insight By exploring your family of origin, this work gives you the opportunity to discover the patterns that might be getting in your way. Insight into what makes your family of origin tick can be powerful. This insight brings an opportunity for compassion, freedom, and autonomy.

Tools In addition to gaining insight, learning new tools and skills is an essential part of the therapy process. We can’t do what we haven’t yet learned how to do!!! In our work together, I can offer up the tools and skills necessary to create change and meet your goals. Together, we will work on concrete ways for you to forge a path to self-empowerment, as well as emotional intimacy with the people you want intimacy with, and less with those you don’t.

Challenge Therapy isn’t just about insight, tools, and compassion. It’s about having someone in your corner,  gently challenging you, while at the same time supporting you as you are learning to flex your new relational muscles, create boundaries and empower yourself.

Understanding I will listen to your story with compassion, and support you as you learn new tools and begin to implement change. There is no judgement - we are all human. I do my best to see things from where you sit, to empathize with your experience. The work we do together is sacred. I honor the process, and I honor you, as well.

1: Insight Insight is an important part of this process, and is at the beginning for a reason. Not much can change if you don’t identify what it is that isn’t working! This is why we get a good background of what you are doing that might not be getting you the results you want. Together we explore your family of origin (the family that you were raised in) which gives you the opportunity to discover patterns that might be getting in your way. Maya Angelou summed it up perfectly, “When you know better, you do better!”

2: Process There is a lot to be said for experiencing the very real emotions that often accompany insight; it is important to grieve the past. As the Sufi poet Rumi said, “The wound will not heal unless given witness. The shadow that follows us is the way in." Emotional wounds might hurt when getting cleaned, but cleaning the wound is necessary in order to heal properly.

3: Practice Now comes the fun part! This is when you get to start practicing new skills and learn to do things differently so that you can get the positive outcomes you want. I will be your accountability coach, encouraging you, as well as gently challenging you, every step of the way.